The Ballet, Sushi, and Us

I have always had a love for the arts; classical music, ballet, opera - but have had no one with which to enjoy or share. Certainly not my family, or my husband's family... and Mark tolerates some "culture", but turns back to hockey discussions as soon as he thinks he can get away with it. So, I decided a very long time ago, that when my children were old enough to start going, and too young to say no, I would impose my will upon them and culture them. So, for the second year in a row, I bought tickets for my family to see The Nutcracker in Edmonton.

Yesterday in -35C (that's almost -40 for you Americans) weather, we drove 3 hours to Edmonton. Some may have suggested that we stay at home in that weather. Ha! I spent almost $300 on these tickets 3 months ago, no way am I gonna let them go to waste!!

Once in the parking lot, we change the kids out of their car ride clothes, complete with crumbs and smears, into their beautiful party clothes. My mom bought them each an adorable outfit earlier in the year. It's amazing how well these two kids actually clean up!!

(Their noses are still cold from the walk into the building)

The ballet itself was pretty good; if you're looking for a review, I think last year's was far better in talent and story, but the kids both enjoyed it. When the Nutcracker prince was injured by the King Rat, Robyn yelled in her little 3 year old voice, "He's dead!" At various times I had to try and shush her exclaims, but inside I was beaming. My little girl was fascinated! She followed the story quite well and was drawn into the dances. Conner enjoyed it also and demanded quite loudly for me to name the different dances, ie: the Russians, Arabians etc. It's hard being put on the spot like that when I know all the "real" ballet people sitting around us are pretending not to listen. The second half was tiring for the children, and Mark and I had to be quite creative in our bid to keep both kids quiet and behaved. I don't think we totally succeeded, but we weren't the loudest either.

Poor Conner was too hot (it was stifling in there), and the clapping had finally done him in by the second half. Every time the crowd started clapping, Conner started gyrating wildly and blinking, sticking out his tongue and other ticks. He also started the humming/singing that he does often when he's in public places - which I think was a sign that he had had enough noise. Thankfully, the second half wasn't as long, so he was able to finish out the show without having to disturb an entire row of people to leave in the middle (yeah, we sat in the very centre of the row - -1 point to me for the choice of seats).

The best part of the entire show was the end. I was chatting with the lady in front of us who was letting us know politely that she thought my children were a bit loud for her tastes to which I was feigning complete ignorance of the point. Someone tapped me on the shoulder, and I turned around to about 4 or 5 people fawning at my children. One of the ladies told Mark and I that we have beautiful children and .. this is the best part: "They are wonderfully behaved." now don't worry, I don't actually totally believe this part because I know my own children. But, that was such a nice compliment.

Afterwards, we went for sushi as a treat for all of us. It was Robyn's first time and she decided upon seeing the maki rolls that sushi was not her thing. I had already ordered her a bowl of rice though, so all was good. Conner ate more maki than I thought he could fit in his little belly. He even drank some of my green tea! Looking across the table at my special guy, I had a vision of him in the future; a well travelled scholar who partakes in the finer, more cultured side of life. Ok, it's a stretch. But in his little suit complete with tie, sipping on green tea and eating sushi at age 5... it seemed fitting. (Maybe if we had our own sushi restaurant Conner wouldn't be so skinny and hard to feed!)

I look forward to next year. It's nice to step outside of our normal routine and do something different. I know the day will come that the kids won't be so easily swayed into going, so I'm going to enjoy these times I do get to enjoy this with them and my husband as fully as I can.

A Rocky, Kootenay Summer Vacation!

This is most definitely been a long time coming, but better late than never! My husband and I planned a summer vacation this past year tailored towards our kids. At 5 and 2, we built in lots of stops and bypassed some sights, like museums, that we'll leave for next time.

So for the curious, here are the highlights of our family vacation in British Columbia: (in order by visit)

1. Takakkaw Falls: We drove through Banff National Park, but did not stop at the sights. Instead, we travelled straight on to Field. Our first destination was Takakkaw Falls. A warning: this drive is not for the feint of heart or for those with long trailers (tight cutbacks on the side of the mountain to maneuver),or for those that don't want to take the 30 mile (45 mins one way)drive. However, if you can do it, the trip is worth your effort! The natural trails leading to the waterfall were fun for the kids to explore; over roots, around boulders, and along the river. At the base of the falls was a rock slide area with giant boulders perfect for my little climber, Conner.

2. The Northern Lights Wolf Centre: Leaving Golden on Highway 1 headed towards Revelstoke is perhaps the best wildlife sanctuary I have toured. Specifically built and targetted towards education about wolves as part of a healthy ecosystem, this wildlife sanctuary is home to several rescued wolves. The atmosphere is casual, and not your typical touristy stop. It's not flashy and doesn't have alot of the amenities family type places often have to offer. You can purchase basic snacks and of course support the sanctuary by buying souvenirs, but the attraction is the education you receive by the small guided tour and the chance to see the wolves up close. Admittedly, the children were too young to fully appreciate this stop, but it was a great first introduction and we plan to go again. For kids that couldn't handle listening and waiting on the tour, a table with coloring is centrally placed and easily monitored.

3. Glacier and Mount Revelstoke National Parks: There are some great campgrounds, hiking trails, lakes, rivers and sights to see. We camped outside the parks at Albert Canyon Hotsprings under the Hemlocks and then made day trips to some of the hikes suited for small legs.

Skunk Cabbage Trail: This boardwalk hike was fairly short (we walked the whole trail and extended portion in about 45 minutes). The trail winds through a unique natural wetland that is home to the strange skunk cabbage plant. A stopover for migrating birds, this is a birders' paradise. The brochure lists a good chance to see Steller's Jay, Chestnut-backed Chickadee, Western Tanager, American Dippers, Magnolia Warbler, Black-headed Grosbeak, Rufous Hummingbird, Yellow Warbler, Townsend's Warbler, Common Yellowthroat, Merlin, and several species of Empidonax flycatchers along the Skunk Cabbage Boardwalk Trail.

The skunk cabbage is important as it is a favorite food of bears. The habitat is very important to their health and survival. Unfortunately, with the highway being so close, many bears are killed trying to cross the road to access this important food source.

The highlight for the kids was the giant pollywogs. We're not used to tadpoles this large back in Alberta! We spent quite a bit of time on our hands and knees watching them swim about in the water and trying to spot the ones with legs. I loved the opportunity to teach the kids about amphibians like frogs, and for them to see and hear the beautiful sounds in the wetland from all the birds and local inhabitants.

Giant Cedars Trail: While a bit more challenging, both kids navigated this trail up and down several long sets of stairs with ease. The trail makes a loop up and into a rainforest, taking you under a canopy of mjastic and ancient Hemlocks. Toadstools, ferns, birds, squirrels and other wildlife were spotted along the trail. A babbling brook added to the ambience. While not as exciting as the skunk cabbage trail for the kids, Mark and I were happy to have had the chance to relax and enjoy the natural beauty of the forest.

4. The Enchanted Forest: We made this a day trip, as it's not a very far drive from where we were camping. From Revelstoke it's a beautiful drive and well worth the stop. They've recently added an adventure park there for older families: walking on ropes in the trees in Sky Trek Adventure Park. The Enchanted Forest is home to every fairy tale known. Under the canopy of the giant trees, it's a calm walk along the dirt path. There are forts and a ship for the kids to climb on, houses to explore and fish to feed. For those wanting a longer hike, there is a beaver pond complete with tiny rowboats and life jackets. It's unsupervised and about a 2mile round trip hike, but we had fun! This is a stop we plan to come back to time and time again.

We did make some other stops, and our vacation continued for about another week to join with family on a houseboat, and then out to my grandfather's burial plot at Tatlayoko Lake in the Chilcotin. But for the most part, these were the tourist-type highlights that I'd not hesitate to suggest to others with younger children. Or older, for that matter, as we plan to return to all of these again as we pass through in future years. I loved the chance to spend this time with the kids with no televisions or computers or anything much at all except each other's company.

Max Attack!

We picked up our new/replacement puppy yesterday! (See Goodbye, Buster for background) The breeder had given us the pick, with a suggestion towards one of the more unique-colored males; a patchwork with browns, greys and blacks, with bands of speckles across his face and paws. As beautiful as he was... my eye and attention kept going to the biggest boy in the litter. He was the only one with wagging tail, following Conner around the pen. He also showed his alpha tendency by growling and barking at the other dogs clamoring outside the pen. That's the personality I want; despite it meaning a tougher training period ahead due to his (presumed) strong will.

Pictures soon!! The move seemed to have swallowed the USB upload cables for the digital cameras. He's a grey with black leopard spots, with light brown/rust on his snout, tips of his ears, feet, tip of his tail and some on his belly. He has one blue (wall)eye, one brown. The first name that came to mind was Rusty. That is his sire's name though, so this puppy should have his own name. Yes, we anthropomorphize all our pets.

Conner's suggestions were Starwars or Steroid (??what??) and shot down everything I had to suggest. Funny how that works. I called Mark on the cell and asked for strong names, historically. His mother is 90lbs, and his father is at least the same or larger. This 8 week old puppy is going to be a brute, and I thought should have a fitting name. He suggested Maximus, from General Maximus, Gladiator. Conner, in true form, agreed with his father and thus our new puppy is known as Max. I actually think of Mad Max, not for the dog as it's a Blue Heeler, and I really have no reason except who can resist Mel? It's only been about 12 hours and he's starting to respond, at least to our voices if not the name.

Night one was kind of rough, Max cried for about 10 minutes before falling asleep. (Yay, that went well) A few hours later he woke up and I took him outside to pee. We had unplanned playtime, and then I put him back to bed. This time it didn't go so smoothly.... I ended up sleeping on the couch with my hand beside the crate for the rest of the night. I know he's a bit young to crate train for long term periods, but this is our best option at night right now. Considering he and his littermates are farm/barn raised I don't think we're being too horrible.

So Max is home. I have a new baby and a new schedule. He's already reminded me in the short time we've had him why I hand babies back to their Moms and go home to my potty trained, sleep through the night children. Thankfully, and sadly, this particular puppy stage won't last very long.

Choosing the road less travelled...

I've always been a bad sheep. I don't follow very well, and if I must (as there are times we all must be followers), I try to do so in a way that I'm still different even if it's only in my own little mind. (A scary place to wander indeed)

Some big decisions and changes in my own and my family's life again is proof of my unconscious choices to be different:

1. Stay At Home Mom

Ok, ok, I'm not inventing something new here obviously! But how many of you know Moms who work when the babies are babies.. then transition to home full-time when the children start school?

Backwards? Not in CeeCee land!!

We have reasons, but it is humorous to see the reactions from people trying to figure out why we have made this move now. I don't even try to explain that it took me 6 years of marriage and two children now out of diapers to decide I like being domestic and want to do it full-time...

2. New family dog

So we move to the acreage and decide we want a guard dog. Nothing out of the ordinary there... so I complicate it and pick a breed that has few breeders in this area. Why? Just look at him! Now that's different.

Ok, ok.. again, there are other very good reasons we(I) chose this breed, but it does help that he's so different. (Poor, poor Buster - we're going this weekend to pick up his replacement).

3. Cattle

So with our new acreage I can finally have a few cattle once again. Grass fed, natural (hormone free) beef to put in the freezer is something that interests me greatly. I could walk, literally, down my driveway and buy cheap cows or heifers to realize this goal. But nooooooo... I want Highland Cattle! If you need to know why click the pic, there's more adorable pictures and breed history. (They are healthier beef in addition to being so cute).

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It's me and my family showing our personality and way of life. We're different, and I like it. Do you purposely make yourself different? I'd love to hear it! (I won't feel so alone, ha!) If you post it on your blog, send me an email or comment your address so I can link it here for everyone to see. Perhaps we can find some common ground in our differences, eh?

Goodbye, Buster

We picked up our puppy on Wednesday, after what had seemed to be a very long time but was actually only 30 days! He rode home on Conner's lap the entire way, sleeping and snuggling our boy who made sure to let us know how happy he was with this happy change. (We've been putting words to changes in his life and encouraging him tell us the happy and unhappy changes as he sees them).

Sadly, all hasn't continued on that happy plane. Upon arriving home we realized quickly that something was wrong - Buster couldn't see. It took us 2 days of watching and monitoring, and then testing to finally admit that our long awaited and already beloved puppy is indeed blind. We booked an appointment for yesterday, and they confirmed our worst fears; while Buster could have a productive life in a controlled environment, an acreage life is not the best option for this pup. One of the veterinarians that assessed him offered him a special needs home. It's up to the breeder though, so we've passed the information on in dire hopes he isn't destroyed.

The breeders are extremely apologetic and have given us pick of the litter for the next litter available (very soon), and we've arranged to take Buster back tonight. It's too hard to have him here any longer than needed. It's been heartbreaking for Mark and I to make the decision, and Conner hasn't really accepted that Buster has to leave us. I don't blame him!

sigh

So, hopefully soon we'll have a new puppy. Buster will never be replaced, he's too special a dog, even for the short time that we've gotten to love him. What's important is that we don't act selfishly and make Buster suffer for it, a lesson I'm hoping to impart on our children as responsible pet owners in the making.

Goodbye Buster, you'll be missed.

A Peek at Buster

We're planning on buying a puppy to grow up on the acreage. After doing a bunch of research, I fell in love with the Louisiana Catahoula Leopard. While we had been planning on a Blue Heeler (Austrailian Cattle Dog), we decided the houla was the breed we want.

Of course, I wanted a rescue, or even a cast-off mutt or x-breed. That is still a possibility, much to Mark's chagrine (haha). But right now, I need to raise a dog to guard the kids and the home place, and a puppy from a proven set of parents is the best option for us right now. As wonderful a dog as our yellow lab, Sasha, is - she is no guardian. She can't even leave the kitchen if a cat is sitting in the doorway...

We're going to see him tonight to decide, and then will be leaving a deposit if all goes as expected. Because we won't be officially moved until November, they've agreed to hold him until then. The Martins generally keep their puppies for 12 weeks to be socialized with the adults, and being he's only about 8 weeks now, it should work out perfectly!

So, I thought Howie (from Haward, Guardian) would be a good name for our new little boy. But somehow he's already been christened Buster. Conner flat out shot down Howie with an emphatic no and strong head shake. Damn. If I'd have gotten the boy on my side I would have been golden!

Buster it is! I can live with that :)

BIG News!

Some may have noticed I have been missing for a week or so... well I have good reasons!

First, I had big news that I couldn't share yet - but I was BURSTING to tell someone so I stayed away from blogging because I knew that I couldn't resist the temptation. Then I got so tied up in loose ends that I couldn't sit down long enough to write anything that would have resembling a coherent post. So what's the news? It's two -part:

1) We bought an acreage! We were able to leap on it before it was formally listed, so it all happened very quickly... Monday we looked at it and made an offer- Tuesday we signed papers for it...

It's a town away, which means the kids will be switching schools - but the Kindergarten class already seems well suited to Conner. It has a lower child-teacher-aide ratio, and the Kindergarten teacher duos as the special ed teacher, less people for Conner to deal with! She has already set up appointments to meet Conner, and then two half days to integrate him into her classroom. I was unsure of doing this to him - but I think, I hope, it will be ok.

2) I quit my job! OK, well I actually put my resignation in for October 31, and then agreed to do some interim wage cover-off to train and mentor a replacement.. but I made the big first step.

It's funny, I've had reactions from huge congratulations and people happy for us as a family - to "well what are you going to do with yourself?". It's really hard not to retort with a biting remark, but I'm trying hard not to be so defensive. Yes, we'll be lowering our standard of living and giving up some comforts - BUT for Mark and I, the chance for me to stay at home and support the family has an immeasurable value.

I'm so excited for our next step that I'm giddy! So that's why I've been so quiet; with so many things up in the air and then the initial rush of paper signing etc, I've simply been indisposed. I might even start a new blog to timeline the restoration of the 1920's house that we will be moving into.

Top Ten Reasons I'm NOT the World's Worst Mother

Another fun game from Good Enough Mama!

1. My kids eat their vegetables and like them (uncooked, raw). In fact, Conner thinks that Broccoli is a treat and tells me I'm the best Mom for letting him have it before supper even though he's not supposed to be snacking at that time.

2. I let me kids get dirty. I mean, down in the dirt, only thing showing is eyeballs dirty.

3. I take Mommy Time Outs. When I get frustrated and start losing my cool I announce that I need a time-out and I go to my office for 5 minutes. If Mark's home, I can close the door and take longer.

4. I play video games with my kids. OK, so this might put me in the other category on some lists.... Conner and I have been playing Spore together. Just the two of us chatting and working together on something. I relate it to working on a puzzle... but with more colors and movements!

5. I like to take vacations with my kids, which means for us, no exotic getaways. I'd much rather sit around a campfire staring at the stars with my kids while I have them. When they're outta the house I'm soooo leaving this country though! I'm sure I'll come back.

6. I go worm hunting. Yep, and I even put them on the hook. I hunt grasshoppers for bait too. In fact, Conner bestowed me the title of The Best Grasshopper Catcher this past summer.

7. I listen to "The Wiggles" songs in the van even though they make me want to veer into oncoming traffic.

8. I participate in the tiny nudist colony we have going, much to Mark's chagrine. I don't go totally naked, that's just scary, but the kids and I hang out in the summer in our undies more than the neighbors want to know.

9. I sometimes feed them peanut butter sandwiches for supper. OK another iffy one - but it makes the kids think I am the BEST Mom... who can argue with that?

10. I stopped smoking. Took me awhile, but approaching my one year anniversary and I needed a number 10 reason :)

Take a Deep Breath and Count (Part 2)

In early December, Conner was diagnosed (potentially) with Sensory Processing Disorder (Part 1 of Conner's Journey). In addition to SPD, the doctor noted compulsion/anxiety disorder. Thus began our journey. The first things on our list: referral to mental health services for the compulsion/anxiety.

We were immediately received for an initial intake upon the completion thereof I was informed that because of his age (he was still 4) there were no services available for him. The system does not recognize anxiety or other related disorders in children under 6, therefore there is no funding or programming targeted for them. We were told to come back once Conner was in school. I took it all in, gathered up the kids and went home.

By the time Mark got home, I was crying. Not knowing what this meant, and feeling overwhelmed about navigating us successfully through “the system” was a lot of pressure that I took on myself. I knew I had to be strong for my son, but I wondered whether I would be able. So I started doing what I could and asking around, first to people I knew, and then branched out to anyone who might know anything on the subject.

Upon consultation with his ECS teacher, I was able to get my hands on some good reading resources. I spent the next couple of weeks researching SPD and related developmental disorders and helping Mark learn about it as well. Come January, we took Conner to his EEG. He behaved so well that he was rewarded with any toy of his choosing from Toys R Us. If you know Conner, you already know what he chose; a giant dinosaur. This time, a long neck.

In February, the occupational therapist assigned to him through the central public referrals contacted us and arranged to observe and assess him at school. As chance would have it, Conner had a great day at school. This, at that point in the school year, was the exception rather than the norm for Conner to manage transitions and activities without tantrums and crying. He even participated in social play with other children without being prodded. This was something to celebrate! The report reflected Conner’s behaviour on this one particular day, and while she acknowledged the background and history, her assessment was that Conner had no significant delays or problems. She suggested some behaviour strategies to me and some parenting tips and followed up by phone once.

This may have been the end of the road were it not for Conner’s amazing teacher. She believed quite strongly that he would benefit from the attention and help he would receive from an aide. She embarked on a task to help Conner receive P.U.F (Hallejullah! Funding for Conner) for that purpose. She arranged for another assessment, this time by a family and child psychologist and therapist. While the report had some similar notes to the first one done, the second assessment gave us a more thorough examination and follow-up, including two pages of suggestions and tips to help Conner. Using that report, along with her own notes, his teacher was able to attain funding for P.U.F.

Yippeee!!! In the same week, Conner was accepted by a private Occupational Therapist, Mary Culshaw, to her clinic in August. The clinic will specifically target skills and functions Conner will need to be able to carry out well to help him succeed in Kindergarten. It’s not cheap, nor is it very convenient but we are thrilled and looking forward to participating.

The next chapter: Conner’s pediatric follow-up and saying no to drugs

A Place to Call Home

For one reason or another, I have always felt a little out of place in the world around me. From the time I was in Elementary School I felt different from the other kids. The feelings deepened as I grew up and continued right through my University years. I was not an outcast, and I had family that loved me. But I just didn’t feel “home”. In the pursuit of a place to belong, I tried on different faces and personas and though I had some fun, nothing really clicked for me until I met Mark. He’s become my best friend, my confidante, and is so much a part of who I am that I have a hard time remembering my life without him. Finally, with Mark, I have found my place to belong: our family.

It wasn’t a conscious thought or plan to bring children into this world with the intent to satisfy my own need to belong, but I have realized that is exactly what has happened. In addition to the joy of sharing in the lives of two precious people, I have been able to find peace with myself as to where I should be in this world. As each of the individuals grows, so does my own sense of belonging. We’re to the point now that we have inside jokes and games. I live for those moments and treasure them – the ones that you had to be there to get it – sort of moments. It’s not always butterflies and roses in our family, nor is it for any family I’m sure, and I know that we will need to navigate bumps and curves along the road of life as we all grow. It may not always be pretty or perfect, but we will manage, as distinct individuals that together, form our unique family.