Calming Activity - Bottle Buddies

One of the suggestions our O.T. made for Conner, was to make a bottle buddy as a calming activity. It's the same idea as a lava lamp - watching the gloops, plus being able to move them himself, should help him transition into quiet activity. For Conner it works amazingly well, and had I not seen it with my own eyes, I may not have believed that this works for him.

Mary had been pushing him harder one afternoon, to the point that he was crashing hard on everything in the room and was moving too fast; on the verge of losing control. Mary pointed out the bottle she had made, and he immediately lost interest in running and crashing, laid down on the floor, captivated by the sparkles in the bottle. I watched his body relax as he went into a state of total calm that sustained right through the 10 minute chat that Mary and I had regarding the session.

I've seen several variations, and if you google it, I suggest using wave bottles as search terms. I don't use mine in the home, but as a buddy in the car. Both children now have one that they decorated themselves and leave in the van. Instead of poking and prodding each other, they fidget with their bottle buddies. They do need reminders, and we do make sure to get excited about what they see inside their bottles. My husband and I noted an immediate change in our longer rides; there is alot less fighting or discontent. For us, that's a great improvement; it had become a chore just to drive to the store because of the fighting. The problems in the back seat felt out of our control because nothing we had been doing seemed to have a lasting effect.

The bottles are also great for heavy work activities, like bowling: Have the child set up the pins, knock them down, and then reset them up. We have been doing this outside with a soccer ball.

So, click the link above for your own ideas, and I've listed my own recipe/variation. I think the most important thing here was to make sure the kids were involved on every step - so that they feel the pride and ownership in their own bottle buddies.

Using empty water bottles (different sizes), I filled each with:
1/4 white corn syrup
1/4 baby oil (or olive oil)
1/2 water (leave some room at the top for displacement from beads etc)

added: sparkles, beads, shiny things -- I bought little packages from the dollar store and laid it all out for the kids to choose. I also added food coloring - but I controlled this as a couple drops goes a LONG way!

When everything is done - I lined the cap with silicone and screwed it back onto the bottle. Voila! Spill proof! So far prying fingers haven't tried to take the cap off - but I do watch closely.

Kindergarten, The Beginning

I cannot believe how quickly time has passed. My first born is about to enter Kindergarten! While I’m reading stories from other mothers sharing in this life moment, I realize that perhaps I’m a bit less saddened by it. I suppose it may have to do with having sent Conner to pre-school for two years now, so we have that inaugural 1st day under our belts now.

I’m actually looking forward to this year with an equal measure each of trepidation and excitement. I feel like we’re finally in a good spot with Conner. Over the last 18 months, my husband and I have learned the why’s to Conner, or at least some of them. Now that we know why we are now able to address the what next. What Next has been my primary focus for the last 9 months. It’s been healthy for our family to reap the benefits of the education that we have sought and been receiving.

My worries about crossing into the education threshold have been waylaid greatly by the addition of the professionals that are now in our life. I know I can consult with them and ask for help to advocate for Conner in appropriate ways. With P.U.F., Conner will have an aide to help him and give him the one on one attention he requires for the things that he finds difficult: like activity transitions and story circles.

Now I just have to sit back, and wait. I have to let my little big man make his own steps, with the hope that when he stumbles, he'll be able to get back up. Now I have to learn how and when I can jump in and pick him up...

The hardest part for me, will be the transition from being the woman in his life – to having to share some of his heart with his teachers. It’s that road, as we travel it over the next decade and beyond, that will be the hard part for me.

I Googled Myself

I frequent a blog regularly, Good Enough Mama, whose owner challenged her readers to google themselves and post about it...

I have used Sassy as a nickname for myself for quite a few years now, so I chose that. The idea is to use your name, and add a verb, ie: Sassy eats And then write down what comes up... so here goes...


1. Sassy needs new home due to allergies. (new home, yes - allergies, no)

2. Sassy looks like my cat, Princess.
3. Sassy does Aruba (hmmm, sounds like fun?)
4. Sassy hates spongebob. (this is true)
5. Sassy goes down the slide. (Everytime we go to the park)
6. Sassy loves to kiss fingers. (if they have boo boos)
7. Sassy eats a Honda Accord's nose. (I don't know if that's even possible)
8. Sassy has no snapshots.
9. Sassy will always look wonderful from the front. (Checks the mirror)


After reading this list I think Sassy must be a popular name for a dog....

The O.T. 2 week Blitz

It's been a busy couple of weeks for me and the kids. Earlier in the year, we enrolled Conner in a program Mary Culshaw (Great Beyond Therapy) holds specifically tailored towards children with Sensory Processing Disorder. In this case, Mary's concentration was Kindergarten Readiness. Conner and I met daily with Mary in her clinic for 2 weeks (5 days, weekend, then 5 days). While the hour long drive there and back was inconvenient, every minute and dollar spent was very well worth it.

I was skeptical, to be honest, about the program and thinking that maybe we didn't need to invest so much money right now into a program like this, especially when Conner has been so relatively calm since return from our vacation. However, after Day Two, I realized the benefit that Conner was already receiving. I brought home a calm, happy and relaxed little boy Tuesday afternoon that stayed with us right up until it was time for bed. (We had a melt down complete with tears and screaming at that point) While I was making supper, he colored in his room. There was no fighting with Robyn; even when she pulled out her bag of tricks designed to send her big brother into hysterics. He sat through supper (without banging), ate it well and then returned to his coloring afterwards.

Not knowing my son, you would wonder what's so amazing about the above. I had to hide my emotions a bit, as I was almost overcome with happiness and relief to finally see our little guy, of all things: content. He wasn't thrashing, or jittering so much that he couldn't stay long enough to finish a picture. He had focus enough to plan out what he wanted to draw, and then explain it all to us when he was finished - including what he would do next. He had the self-control to refrain from screaming at or otherwise abusing Robyn when she entered the room - and was able to use his words calmly and effectively when she turned on the bug power. For as much growth Conner has done over the summer - this all in one evening was simply amazing for us to witness.

The best part? It continued throughout the week, (I held my breath) throughout the weekend... and with some bumps, the second week as well. Why? Mary has explained to me that we're seeing the effects of modulation for Conner. For him, that means alot of heavy work, some quiet/dark time in a place that he can stretch and push. Sure, there's more to it than that, but it's a place for us to start. I learned so much that I'm running over with information and ideas and strategies.

We have had some bad behaviour - he is five afterall. It's not a cure, and it wasn't meant to be. Conner will not change because of a few O.T visits... but I don't want him to change. I love my boy for who he is; we just need to keep working on teaching ourselves and him ways that he can communicate and interact with a world that is wired just a bit differently than him.

With a return to our former routine, perhaps I'll start posting more regularly! In two weeks, we start Kindergarten!

PreHistoric Park, retold

On the way home from our BC vacation, we had an unexpected 9 hour stop in Valemount due to a car accident on the highway that caused it to shut down, both ways. As inconvenient as it was for us, I felt deeply for the familes involved in the crash.

After a long day of waiting and a bit of sight-seeing, we were back on the road to find that the highway wasn't completely open yet! To pass the time, I grabbed the video camera and asked the kids to perform. Normally, Conner is too shy and unsure of himself to speak when the camera comes on (even though he chatters endlessly when it's off!). To our surprise, Conner started reciting his version of his current favorite video, PreHistoric Park. He's watched it twice, the 4 episodes we have, and has personally elevated Nigel to the same status as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and God (his explanation to his grandparents was that they are all friends and talk on the phone).

I'm a proud mama, can't help but to be; it's in our very nature! But this little video represents a huge achievement and an indication of the progress he's made in such a short time. In the minimum, it shows the potential my guy has to show his personality. It's a glimpse into the boy I know as my son, but struggles with invisible barriers, to show that side of his dynamic personality to the outside world.

10-minute Youtube Video - PreHistoric Park, retold

Celebrating the Differences

Since coming home from vacation, Conner has continued to be relaxed. (I will write about our vacation soon!(tm)). Not only does it relieve our worries a bit, but it also has the effect of letting the entire family relax a bit too. Particularly when we're facing a bit of a family uproar. Normally, this would have Conner on edge, and out of control.

I am seeing some behaviours returning though; ones that I haven't seen for some time. Last night, he was eating a mandarin orange before bed. When I checked on his progress, I noticed he had lined each slice up perfectly in line, at the same angle to each other across the arm of the couch. I paused, as my first instinct was to tell him that food doesn't belong on the couch, but I wanted to see what he would do next. He counted each slice, and then started eating. After he ate each one, he would count them all again. I realized while watching, that he's been lining up and counting objects alot lately, sometimes in tandem, sometimes as seperate behaviours.

I can handle this better than some of his other behaviours! Perhaps it's a calming activity for him? I'll have to ask his OT, but as long as it doesn't morph into something that disrupts his daily routine significantly, then I can't see the harm. So often I'm looking at Conner wondering what I can do to "fix" some of his troubles, this time, my instinct tells me to relax and celebrate his differences.

We all have ways that that work for us to relax and unwind. Seeing the smile on Conner's face and the enthusiasm with which he completes his personal game gives me hope for a bright and happy future.

Food For Thought, on Bears

I've been away on vacation and haven't been able to post for the month of July, but I'm back!

One of the best stops we made was at the Northern Lights Wolf Centre near Golden, BC. During our visit, we learned about Karelian Bear Dogs and the role they could play in protecting our urban areas from habituated (garbage or problem) bears.

A couple of interesting tidbits I learned:

FACT: on average, 1000 bears lose their lives in BC each year for being "problem bears".

The way Karelian Bear Dogs may typically be used to help bears:
A trained team of bear dogs and a dog handler work with the Conservation Officer (CO), usually in a chase situation. The bear is chased to a safe distance away, at which point the chase is called off. This tells the bear that it is a territorial dispute and not a predatory attack. The bear learns recognize the boundary of our territory and learns to stay away.
through educational programs like BearSmart and BearAware, a trained team of humans work with the community to teach proper disposal of garbage, fruit from fruit trees, etc... so as not to continue to attract wildlife to their property. "A fed bear is a dead bear".
(The Northern Lights Wolf Centre website. http://www.northernlightswildlife.com/karelian_bear_dogs.htm)

So why aren't BC conservation officers using these dogs? Good question, and one I asked as well. The answer: It is illegal to chase bears in BC with dogs, because it is considered harassment to wildlife. The folks doing the great work at the Northern Lights Wolf Centre are working hard to get the law changed, and get an amendment to the BC Wildlife Act to allow for Karelian Bear Dogs to assist Conservation Officers in their job. They need more help to convince the Minsitry of Environment to make this change!!

I would think that the recent incidents on Vancouver's coast would be more than enough example as to what the use of trained Karelian Bear Dogs could have achieved. As we encroach further and further into their native habitats by building roads, towns, power grids, etc, the more we are going to see incidents between habituated bears and the humans that unconsciously invited them.