Shrinking My Footprint

Since moving out to the country and becoming a full-time homemaker, I've become more sensitive to the impact my family and I leave on the environment. I've been working, slowly, at incorporating energy conscious, waste reducing habits into our lives. I know we could do better, but at least I'm actively trying to be more green.

(1) (<-- picture of the compost bin I want Mark to build) The biggest thing for us, that Mark still resists, is composting our household waste. I try not to buy paper towels, but I don't feel as bad when they go into the compost bin instead of the garbage when I do use them. I've found a remarkable amount of "garbage" that now goes into my little white garbage can in the kitchen that I use as temporary compost storage. I get giddy as I watch it fill!




(2) I've reduced our use of chemical cleaners for the house. I still have some around, but I'm weaning myself off of them slowly. My favorite replacement is good ol' vinegar and water (check out http://www.versatilevinegar.org/usesandtips.html). It cuts through anything, and I honestly love the smell after washing my floors. Clean, without that industrial irritation that I always used as the "clean" standard.



(3) We have big plans for a substantial vegetable garden this year. It's going to be alot of work (part of my weight-loss plan, no joke), but it will help us cut our purchase of non-local groceries, not to mention the taste of fresh produce is incentive alone!

I'm a bit nervous to be honest, about how much weeding will be required. We're planning on using organic methods as much as possible - no pesticides, herbicides, fertilizer etc. We'll see how it goes!








(4) Over the next few years, I plan on replacing all the lawn turf around the house and along the driveway with certified native grasses, shrubs and flowers. I know to some it may look a bit messy, as it will not be the immaculate green carpet of lawn to which we've all grown accustomed. The prairie garden will serve a few purposes: Low maintenance, environmentally sustainable, butterfly & moth habitat, native plants conservation, uniqueness. It's going to be a big multi-year project for me and I can't wait to get started!

Suck it up, Princess

While I most often blog about my son, I do have another child to whom I am as wholly devoted. Princess Robyn fills our lives with sunshine; her smiles can make the grey-ist of days shine with color. We are a lucky crew when she bestows us with her happiness. If the servants of the petty household displease Miss Robyn, or the day just isn't as she dictated it to be - well, sunshine is more akin to fire and brimstone.

Thankfully, Robyn is a pretty happy child.

The Princess disdains mud, poop, smelly dogs, wet dogs, bugs, flies (especially dead ones), snow, cold, hot, tall grass, pokey grass, sticks and almost everything to do with the out of doors. This poses a problem for us as an outdoors-y/camping-y kind of family. I've coached myself and Mark that we cannot force her to enjoy somethign that goes against ehr grain, but she will be exposed. She's 3 1/2 afterall... surely there's time to convert her?

Today may have been a step in the right direction! Wahooo! We all dressed up after lunch to go outside and with minimal grumbling and whining she suffered through the chore of exploring and playing in the melting snow with Mom and Conner. As long as I held her hand and kept the dogs at bay, she was able to somewhat enjoy the warm sunshine. But then something happened.. she saw Conner playing on a snowpile, laughing and having fun and decided she wanted in on it.


"Conner get me up!", she instructed.

"No Robyn, you gotta climb up yourself." I cheerfully replied.

Robyn looked at me like I was crazy. How in the heck was she supposed to get up there without falling or, heaven forbid, get dirty snow on her? But.... she tried it! And fell on her face. In the snow. *grimace*

Conner gallantly offered her a hand and before you know it, Princess was sliding down the snowpile with a giant grin!

"That was fun Mom!" That is a success worth celebrating. Maybe she wasn't born to the wrong family afterall?

A good start to a new week

Woohoo! Conner had a great day today at school. Considering where we started last week - it's something to celebrate. No hitting, biting, pinching, yelling or screaming - he did get upset but he worked through it with words.

I re-read what I write and try to see it through someone else's eyes and I wonder sometimes how we got here. Before Conner opened my eyes, I was the person who saw parenting in black & white. Children behaved, or misbehaved and that was dependent for the most part on their parents and the household rules. I've learned alot in my 6 short years as Mom... but nothing as powerful as an open mind (the humble pie I've had to eat by heaping spoonful helped).

We don't allow our son to jump off the back of the couch and fly through the air at random intervals throughout the day, but he does it. We don't allow Conner to physically attack the animals or his sister, but he does it. We don't allow temper tantrums, but amazingly, he's prone tho those several times a day. My point? It's not about rules and allowances - he does have to suffer the consequences of his poor decisions and some days are full of poor choices. But it doesn't mean he will not do those things and there's only so much supervision I can give him.

We're trying, hard, to learn why he's doing those things so we can help divert him and teach him to deal with his emotions and physical energy in more positive ways - but making a list of rules and allowances - cross it off the list.

I love my boy for so many reasons like every mother. On really difficult days I try to remind myself of the gift Conner is to us - before him, the world was black and white and had straight edges; Conner's world has brought color and deviation to mine.

I'm Baaaaaaaack

Yes, I'm back from relative obscurity. No, I didn't go anywhere fun or exciting, I just simply have been distracted and fell out of the habit of blogging. It's important to me so I'm back and have promised myself 2-3 weekly updates! Yay me!!

On the home-front, we've had a bit of a rough 3 months. Conner's undiagnosis (yes I made that up) is becoming an issue. His teachers, the O.T., and now the Family Student Liaison worker are unsure how to proceed with Conner's treatment not knowing the full story. So we've set up another round of appointments to hopefully find some answers.

Concerns for him are growing for emotional well-being and mental health. He has anger and impulse control issues that seem to be worsening now that he's attending school 3 times a week. Sometimes, the outbursts are so bad that he is physical towards others or verbalizes threats.

I'm scared. There seems to be so much going on with my little boy, yet the cause is so illusive. I feel as though he's getting lost even though he's right here in front of us.

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On a positive note, Conner celebrated his 6th birthday at the Royal Tyrell Museum of Paleontology as a sleep-over with his dad. Robyn and I treated ourselves to relative comfort at a local hotel, snacking on chips and chocolate bars in bed while watching "Tree House" until 11pm. We don't have t.v.'s in our rooms at home, so she thought this was a great treat.

While he still maintains that he wants to be Nigel when he grows up, Conner's head has been turned towards his father's childhood hero - Indiana Jones. As long as we get to see smiles like this one, I don't care what he wants to call himself!

Fear of Labels

In my quest to gain a better understanding of my son, I have read alot of books, websites, talked to doctors, friends, family.. the list goes on. One unexpected discovery I made was a fear of labels by many adults. Mainly those outside of the profession of childhood development, seem to fear labels the most and are the ones that most often advise to "not label" the child.

I do understand the intent and the reasoning. It takes some willpower not to argue against it though. I decided a long time ago that I don't have time or will to change everyone's mind and they are entitled to their own opinions, but inside I cringe sometimes.

I was happy when Conner finally got a "label". I already knew, and had been struggling with for quite awhile, that something was off with my little man. A diagnosis was an acknowledgment for me, that yes, my instincts had been right and Conner really was difficult to manage. Mark and I weren't just deficient parents. I hadn't realized what a burden of guilt I had been carrying until Conner had been diagnosed with SPD and OCD. I now believe that it was a significant factor in the depression I suffered for several months this last couple of years. I have learned, that it's common for parents, particularly moms, of children with developmental disorders to suffer from depression - thought to be partially caused by their own misplaced guilt and the additional stress that a child with behavioural issues can add to a family.

A diagnosis and label also marked a beginning of a brighter, happier path for my son and our entire family. We started learning what was going on and how to address it. Previously, we just felt lost. While the process is not speedy, appointments were made and attended for tests to rule out physical causes for Conner's symptoms. Without the "label", the appointments would have been difficult, if not impossible to get. We now had a starting point to focus on for education of ourselves, and to pursue help for our boy.

The label gives us a common ground, or starting point when speaking with the professionals in Conner's life. Whether it is his teachers, OT, or doctor, it helps facilitate communication and discussion without having to start at the beginning every time. Most family and friends become nervous when the words SPD, OCD, or autism crop up, I think from lack of education on the subject and blind love for Conner.

For Conner, I think a label has helped because I now had a focus to my research. As his mom, I have gained a better understanding of him, and in turn I pass it on and discuss it with Mark. Conner's self esteem has come back, he's happier and more trusting. I'm not a professional and know I likely miss the mark on alot of things, but it has helped Conner tremendously to finally have some understanding. As parents we are learning the difference between behaviour he controls and behaviour that he does not. It means he's not getting punished for those things he cannot always control. Instead, he's given support to change or redirect what's causing them. (when we recognize it)

Conner is a child that marches to the beat of his own drum. He's unique and I love him for the perspective he has brought to our lives. The labels, as scary to some as they may be, help us as his parents by giving us tools to raise him in a world that may not always understand him.

No Fear.

The Ballet, Sushi, and Us

I have always had a love for the arts; classical music, ballet, opera - but have had no one with which to enjoy or share. Certainly not my family, or my husband's family... and Mark tolerates some "culture", but turns back to hockey discussions as soon as he thinks he can get away with it. So, I decided a very long time ago, that when my children were old enough to start going, and too young to say no, I would impose my will upon them and culture them. So, for the second year in a row, I bought tickets for my family to see The Nutcracker in Edmonton.

Yesterday in -35C (that's almost -40 for you Americans) weather, we drove 3 hours to Edmonton. Some may have suggested that we stay at home in that weather. Ha! I spent almost $300 on these tickets 3 months ago, no way am I gonna let them go to waste!!

Once in the parking lot, we change the kids out of their car ride clothes, complete with crumbs and smears, into their beautiful party clothes. My mom bought them each an adorable outfit earlier in the year. It's amazing how well these two kids actually clean up!!

(Their noses are still cold from the walk into the building)

The ballet itself was pretty good; if you're looking for a review, I think last year's was far better in talent and story, but the kids both enjoyed it. When the Nutcracker prince was injured by the King Rat, Robyn yelled in her little 3 year old voice, "He's dead!" At various times I had to try and shush her exclaims, but inside I was beaming. My little girl was fascinated! She followed the story quite well and was drawn into the dances. Conner enjoyed it also and demanded quite loudly for me to name the different dances, ie: the Russians, Arabians etc. It's hard being put on the spot like that when I know all the "real" ballet people sitting around us are pretending not to listen. The second half was tiring for the children, and Mark and I had to be quite creative in our bid to keep both kids quiet and behaved. I don't think we totally succeeded, but we weren't the loudest either.

Poor Conner was too hot (it was stifling in there), and the clapping had finally done him in by the second half. Every time the crowd started clapping, Conner started gyrating wildly and blinking, sticking out his tongue and other ticks. He also started the humming/singing that he does often when he's in public places - which I think was a sign that he had had enough noise. Thankfully, the second half wasn't as long, so he was able to finish out the show without having to disturb an entire row of people to leave in the middle (yeah, we sat in the very centre of the row - -1 point to me for the choice of seats).

The best part of the entire show was the end. I was chatting with the lady in front of us who was letting us know politely that she thought my children were a bit loud for her tastes to which I was feigning complete ignorance of the point. Someone tapped me on the shoulder, and I turned around to about 4 or 5 people fawning at my children. One of the ladies told Mark and I that we have beautiful children and .. this is the best part: "They are wonderfully behaved." now don't worry, I don't actually totally believe this part because I know my own children. But, that was such a nice compliment.

Afterwards, we went for sushi as a treat for all of us. It was Robyn's first time and she decided upon seeing the maki rolls that sushi was not her thing. I had already ordered her a bowl of rice though, so all was good. Conner ate more maki than I thought he could fit in his little belly. He even drank some of my green tea! Looking across the table at my special guy, I had a vision of him in the future; a well travelled scholar who partakes in the finer, more cultured side of life. Ok, it's a stretch. But in his little suit complete with tie, sipping on green tea and eating sushi at age 5... it seemed fitting. (Maybe if we had our own sushi restaurant Conner wouldn't be so skinny and hard to feed!)

I look forward to next year. It's nice to step outside of our normal routine and do something different. I know the day will come that the kids won't be so easily swayed into going, so I'm going to enjoy these times I do get to enjoy this with them and my husband as fully as I can.

Our Right to Vote on the Coalition Government Petition

Our Right to Vote on the Coalition Government Petition

Fellow Canadian readers, if you oppose the forming coalition and would like to sign a petition declaring such, or want to read more about why many are opposing it - please follow the above link.

I do not normally blog about politics, however this issue has struck a chord with me, as it has with so many other Canadians. It's amazing how much turmoil has erupted in such a short time.

I'm Home!!

While the plane was coming down on the landing strip, I was imagining the reception awaiting me inside with my husband and kids. One of those movie welcomes with yells of "Mommy!!" and everyone trying to hug me at the same time. It was quite beautiful. Reality of course, rarely mirrors fantasy.

The plane had departed over 90 minutes delayed, so poor Mark had been entertaining and corralling two antsy children who were wholly tired of his sole company. When I finally came down the hallway to the reception/public area, there sat my husband, slumping in his seat with a happy smile. He looked positively sh*tbagged. The kids were hiding their faces in our old game, eliciting weird looks from the people around us. When I "found" them, the kids gave me hugs and kisses, and we all walked out happily to the car.

I had made myself a promise while I was away - no more yelling. I hate it, and yet I do it. Lately, I do it on a daily basis multiple times.

It lasted all of 20 minutes. It took us that long to get into the van.

*sigh*

My first day home was awful. I'm not blaming the kids, or anyone in particular - it was just one of those yucky days. It started with 5 (counted all of them) loose and gooey fresh puppy poops across the kitchen floor. Thank goodness it's lino. He couldn't stand and finish his business. No, he had to spread the love across and into every nook and cranny in the kitchen. Thanks Max. Just how I wanted to start my morning! Then a few crappy phone calls and fighting kids and a windy, cold day from hell. Just a bad day.

I promised the kids we would decorate for Christmas this year, so we made a plan after supper to get the first decorations out, including the Advent Calender that Conner keeps a close eye on for the entirety of December. That helped turn a yucky day into a great one. We had alot of fun and the inside of my house looks like the Christmas section of every department store projectile vomitted. The kids are happy and I can enjoy the garishness of it all by seeing it through their eyes. (Christmas and I have a sordid love-hate relationship) Tonight, we'll put up the tree, maybe.

I think Mark missed me though. After a long bath and a book (my wind-down treat after long days), I was greeted by candles and chocolates in the bedroom and one very cuddly hubby. I don't plan on leaving again any time soon, but it sure is nice to come home.

A Few Days Away

Tomorrow night the hubby and kids are putting me on a plane, and they won't see me until Sunday afternoon! I'm headed out to British Columbia, to visit my grandmother. I promised her when we went out for Grandpa's funeral that I would be coming for a visit this fall. I realized, when I checked into flights to go to the funeral, that it was cheaper than I had expected - making it something attainable. I only wish I had checked before and could have visited grandad one last time.

So I'll be arriving at her house with a rented car and will be spending a few days, just Grandma and me. I'm looking forward to the time away from my family (I know it's bad), and hope I'm refreshed with a new perspective when I come home.

That means of course, that Mark will be on his own for a few days. It's amazing how much he gets done when I'm gone; last time he completely renovated the bathroom. It makes me wonder what it is that stops him from doing those things when I am at home? Ah well, I know I'm lucky to have a husband so willing to take on the kids and the house for a few days. He cooks and does the minimal cleaning and gets the kids to bed better than I do!

I'll be packing and doing laundry etc in preparations for my trip. I'll check in when I come home!

Introducing Queenie

A few days ago, Mark was getting ready to head home for lunch when a half-starved, half-friendly pretty kitty came running up to him. Now, where he works is out in the middle of nowhere. He immediately called me and asked me if I still wanted a cat for the barn and of course, I said yes. I want a cat to keep down the mice, and no barnyard is complete without cats!

Queenie was purring when I met her. I'm guessing she may have been a pet at one time, but lost her way and has been living in the bush for some time. We've set her up in the barn with an old pillow and and a roll of fleece I meant to use for some craft project. I bring her warm watered-down milk every morning, along with a big bowl of food. She mews from the corner, shyly and then dives right into the food as though it's her last meal.

We weren't if she would stay or not, so we didn't tell the kids at first. Conner's still trying to get over the loss of Titten (another story to be told). But she's still here after 3 days, so we sat them down and told them about Queenie last night. We laid down the rules and explained why - no dogs and no visits unless with Mom or Dad. I think he actually might listen.

The best part - I named her, and Conner thought it was great! He hated all my puppy names but likes the kitty name, go figure! This weekend, we're going to add another barn cat from Mom and Dad's. She's also alone and I'm hoping the two can bond and keep each other warm. *fingers crossed*

I would post a picture if I had my camera cords. *grumble*