Mommy, I'm in Love

Last Thursday night, a few hours after coming home, my son finally started sharing about his school day. It takes Conner some time to decompress, and normally I don't get to hear about his day until the next day or later, if at all.

He came up to me with a shy half smile and adorable flush and half whispered, "Mom, I have a girlfriend and I love her."

Me: Really? What's her name? (Inside I'm counting the years and thinking, isn't this puppy love bit coming too soon? I'm trying to keep the panic off my face)
Conner: I forget. But we play at every recess. I love her.
Me: Is she in your class?
Conner: No, she's in Grade 1 (The nerve, picking up the babies in Kindergarten!)
Me: (Getting smart) I'm glad you're making some friends at your new school Buddy! Your new friend sounds very nice.
Conner: She's my girlfriend. I love her very, very much.
Me: (in my head: You're barely out of diapers, how can you possibly love someone you've played with on the playground for 2 days! You - don't - even - know - her - name.) I think you mean your friend, that is a girl, right honey? Just like you have friends that are boys. (I then look at Daddy for help)
Mark: Mom's right buddy. You can like your friends very much and we're happy you're getting some friends, but we use words like love for our family and people we know for a long time.
Conner: Oh. See the toys I picked out to give (stumbles) My Friend That is a Girl? And see this picture? That's her and that's me. I'm giving it to her so she can think of me when she goes home at night.
Me: (coughing and choking on my words - this is hard for me to take) Conner you are too young to have a girlfriend.
Conner: (laughs) No, I'm not! (looks to Dad to share a laugh about his crazy Mom)
Me: Tell ya what, if when you are 12 (counts 7 years with him on his fingers) you still think you love her, than you can call her your girlfriend. But my rules say no girlfriends til then ok?
Conner: Ok. (matter of factly and slowly speaking as though I am the child) But I do love her and I'll just call her my girlfriend to myself (leaves room).

Now don't get me wrong. It is cute as heck. The adorable smile, blush, shy voice - everything. But I've got history with this kid. This is the kid that up until a few months ago had no friends. None. He cried about it almost daily. This is the kid that has choked kids on the playground while on the slide with misplaced understanding of what fun means. Overstimulation from noise and movement doesn't help... This is the kid that has taken beatings from bullies on the playground because it meant that he was noticed and maybe next time they would be nice. (His rationalization when we put the run on the kids and rescued our little boy)

He's had such a struggle learning to socialize that I fear one of his first experience with a potentially longer lasting friendship (small school), could be misunderstood. Conner has wanted so badly to fit in and be just like the other kids that I am worried he's placing too much faith and trust on one poor little girl's shoulders. She probably doesn't even realize the stir her friendliness and kind gestures have caused my little boy. Let's learn to walk before we run, please, little man. (sigh, this is the baby that started walking at 6months of age and running at 9months)

I'm not ready to mend broken hearts. And his is to young to even have any fissures... no breaking allowed. (this is the part that Mark starts to smile and tell me to relax)