Finally Catching My Breath

I think finally, we're getting back to our new normal!! The last 3 weeks has been more hectic than I had even expected, and to top it off we've had a couple drama incidents just add to add extra flavour.

I was supposed to be done work on October 31, however I have had to change my plans and am now juggling what I can for work hours while keeping the kids full-time. Why? I had to fire the babysitter and I'm just not going to look for another one. We've had to much trouble and stress over babysitters so it's time to just be done.

Here's the story:
Conner's bus picks him up from his babysitter's house anywhere between 8:05 to 8:10am. Normally, I have the kids there before 8, so Conner goes inside for a few minutes before the bus comes. On Tuesday, I arrived at just after 8, so I told Conner to stand at his pick-up spot and I let his sitter know he was outside when I took Robyn in. We didn't talk long because she was trying to keep quiet so her children didn't wake up.

Zoom forward 35 minutes. I get a call from the school that Conner had missed his bus, and that some stranger driving by had picked him up from the curb because he was crying and cold. She gave me a cell phone number to call. I immediately called to find out that the lady had actually returned Conner inside to the house - after waiting with him and walking back to her house to get a kleenex for his running nose. She admonished me for dressing my son so poorly and then I thanked her for her help. (I was in a bit of a panicked state of mind with worry for my boy) I left work and raced to the sitter's to find him inside, still very upset. I basically ripped the poor girl's face off when she started going on about the bus not picking him up. She couldn't understand why I was so upset that 1. she didn't know he had missed the bus 2. he had been crying all by himself outside and 3. she didn't immediately call me

I got Conner to school, thankfully and he had a pretty decent day considering. Phew. So many things could have happened, my stomach was in knots the rest of the day and all of the next; I feel it roll every time I think about how scared and alone he felt.

People have asked, well why didn't he just go to the house? And I can see their point, but it shows how very little other people know my son. Other children may have done that, and they may also have taken the mitts out of their pocket and put them on when they did get cold. But Conner 's mind wasn't looking for solutions - he was waiting for the bus! I know he'll be misunderstood alot - most people see a beautiful, smart, happy little boy and can't possibly fathom some of his challenges. For the most part I take that as a success; it means he's managing well! But it also reinforces why he needs me at home full-time. I may screw up, and I may not always understand the why's; no parent or caretaker is perfect. But when it comes down to it, Conner needs me to be his full-time support more than I need to work part-time.

Here's hoping for a calmer next week!